


Chasing Off Your Ghost

by magicathstewart (avidfangirllife)



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-10
Updated: 2016-07-10
Packaged: 2018-07-22 18:00:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7448881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/avidfangirllife/pseuds/magicathstewart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I added major character death as a warning, but it is only in a nightmare! Not a real true "death."</p>
<p>I started writing this before <i>The Raven King</i> was released, so I would set it after the events of <i>Blue Lily, Lily Blue</i>, but before TRK.  It came from my desperate need to have Gansey be the one to fall apart and have Blue put him back together.  I just really wanted Gansey to cry, okay?  I don't know why I do this to myself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Chasing Off Your Ghost

**Author's Note:**

> First time writing Bluesey, so yeah.

Gansey could feel Blue’s arm tugging his sleeve, dragging him back into the vision tree as the earth shook and shattered apart around them. He was back in Cabeswater, Adam in the center of the pentagram, Whelk a few feet beyond. It all felt familiar - he had been here before, he knew what came next.

Just as he thought it, the herd of white-horned beasts appeared, hooves pounding the ground like thunder as they made their way frantically toward where Adam stood. The only thing holding him in place - keeping him from crying out - was that tugging reminder of Blue on his arm. The sea of beasts parted around Adam, and this time, the vision tree made sure Gansey saw it all.

He heard a voice cry out in a choking gasp of pain that sounded too much like his own name as the beasts trampled a figure on the other side of Adam and then began to disappear into the trees. His heart thudded to a stop and then picked up to a pace that rivaled the fading hoof beats. _Blue_. But, no. It couldn’t be her. His sleeve was still tight on his bicep where she had it fisted in her palm. He turned his head toward her, but she wasn’t there. Ronan’s hand was the only thing that held him up as the world around him began to crumble.

With his vision blurring, Gansey took a stuttering step forward. Breath escaped his lungs in a gasp that faintly resembled, “ _No_.”

“Gansey,” Ronan’s voice broke through his deteriorating senses as Gansey tried to step forward, his feet failing him. “Don’t.”

This couldn’t be real. This had happened already, only it hadn’t. Not like this. Because Blue was _fine_. Blue _had_ to be fine. Gansey couldn’t imagine her small figure among the fallen leaves, distorted and broken. He didn’t want to imagine it. And yet -

“ _Blue_ ,” Gansey choked out, falling to his knees. He braced his hands on the ground and tried to breathe, but no air would reach his lungs.

Ronan moved first, releasing his hold on Gansey. This was all _wrong_. Gansey began to claw his way across the cold, hard ground to where the twisted body lay. _Wrong, wrong, wrong_ he thought each time his hand struck the ground in front of him.

When he heard Ronan’s sharp intake of breath and saw the boy’s knees hit the ground, the rest of his strength nearly crumbled.

He kept moving. _Wrong, wrong, wrong_.

And then he was above her.

_Wrong_.

He collapsed on her chest where her broken ribs had given out. Her arms and neck were twisted at angles that didn’t make sense. Her lips were parted on that last cry he had heard from too far away - his name. He should have helped her. _Saved_ her.

A tear still shined on her cheek and Gansey leaned up to brush his lips against it, wipe it away.

“I’m so sorry.” His words ghosted across her face.

This couldn’t be right, wasn’t what happened. He started looking around, distraught, searching for a way out. Maybe this was just a vision from the vision tree - some sick joke Cabeswater was playing on him.

With a sudden burst of strength from that thought, Gansey bolted upright and nearly tripped over his own feet on his way back into the mouth of the tree. Inside, he began spinning around, looking from every angle, closing and opening his eyes, anything to get that picture to change. It didn’t. He slammed his hands into the wall again and again.

“ _No_ ,” he yelled to whatever magic force created those visions. “No!”

A vibration racked through his chest and his hand flew to his heart. Nothing. A beat. Then it came again.

 

* * *

 

 

Gansey was thrown into consciousness, gasping for air, slick with sweat that made him cling to his clothes and sheets.

The next time his chest vibrated, he lifted the phone to his ear. “I’m coming to get you,” he whispered, knowing exactly who was on the other end of the line without her having to speak a word.

“Okay,” she said back.

He knew it was a bad idea, that he shouldn’t be doing this. But he needed to _see_ her. See that she really was okay so he could erase the memory of her disfigured body from his mind. A memory that unlike other dreams refused to fade.

Blue was waiting at the curb when Gansey pulled up in front of 300 Fox Way and slammed the Pig into park. She slid into the passenger seat and looked at him questioning, but he couldn’t speak. Not yet. If he tried, he knew he’d fall apart right then and he needed to keep it together longer.

Instead he stared at her face, reaching up to stroke his fingers gently along her skin. He traced his fingers across her cheeks, down her neck, across her shoulders, and down her arms cataloguing every dip and curve. Making sure each was precise and perfect. Reassuring himself that what he saw was just a dream.

_It wasn’t real. She’s right here. She’s okay._

Once Gansey had pulled himself together enough, he turned back to the road and began the drive to their spot.

 

* * *

 

 

Blue was worried.

She had never seen Gansey lose face like this before. The wildness in his eyes had been enough to keep her quiet as his hands roamed over her skin at a torturously slow pace. As he was studying her, she had been taking in his appearance as well. He was wearing a rumpled t-shirt that seemed stuck to him, his hair was - well, disheveled wasn't a word she had ever considered using to describe Gansey, but it was the only one that seemed appropriate. Everything about him screamed _wrong_ , and yet, she knew it was real.

She remained silent when they began the drive up and out of town. They kept the radio off, and over the Pig’s engine, Blue could hear Gansey’s hard, fast breaths - hers speeding up to match his.

The silence gave her mind enough space to wander. She couldn’t imagine what had shaken Gansey up, gotten him this distressed.

The feel of his fingers lingered on her skin, and she reached up with the hand furthest away from him to subtly press her own hand against her cheek where his had been moments before.

Gansey had a white-knuckled fist on the gearshift and Blue kept it in the corner of her eye, resisting the urge to place her hand on top of it; if she could rub her thumb along the top, maybe he would relax his grip. But she didn’t want to startle him and in this state, even the slightest touch would probably have him flying through the roof of the car.

As soon as the Pig shifted into park, Blue turned to Gansey and let the words fall from her lips.

“What happened?” Her voice, even at a whisper, felt too loud as Gansey cut the engine.

His mouth opened and closed a few times before he spoke, and when he did his voice cracked. “I just needed to make sure you were okay.” With a shaking hand, Gansey reached out toward her again. It found its home on her shoulder where she could feel its slight tremble.

“I’m fine, Gansey. Look at me,” Blue said, placing her hand on his and squeezing it. “I’m right here.”

Gansey managed a slight nod, but she could see the last of his composure slipping fast - his eyes dancing around her face, searching for something they couldn’t find.

What Blue really wanted to do was to pull his hand up to her lips and press a comforting kiss there. Or on his cheek, his nose, his forehead. That simple gesture to say, _Yes, I’m right here and I’m going to be right here for as long as you need me to be._ It was perhaps the first time her inability to do just that truly felt like a curse.

Unable to look into his eyes and watch him fall apart, Blue used her free hand to pull his head down to her shoulder. She told herself it was to comfort him, but she couldn’t help but feel like a coward.

As she held him there, she let herself stroke his hair. Maybe if she could smooth his hair down, get this one piece of him back, the rest of him would slowly fall back into place. A few warm tears soaked through the fabric of her shirt. She took deep breaths - slow in, slow out over her burning throat.

“I’m right here, Gansey,” she whispered, swallowing her tears, soothing him until he was ready to let go. Until eventually his breaths began to match hers. “I’m not going anywhere.”

**Author's Note:**

> As always, thank you for reading! I hope you liked it. Please let me know what you thought??? I love feedback :)  
> You can also come chat with me anytime on [tumblr](http://magicath.tumblr.com/)


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